Thursday, October 15, 2009

Leave It Be, Walk Away...

Story Behind The Poem

I know the whole point of me doing this blog was to give yo all a peek of me on the inside. But I'm gonna punk out a bit because the subject of this poem is still a bit fresh, and possibly identifiable, so I'm going to be very vague in my description of the background story. Simply put, being one who generally doesn't become attached to anything or anyone much, I found myself in a sito where I found myself becoming attached to someone for.....reasons I still can't grasp; which probably explains it.... not knowing so much kept things fresh and interesting for me. Still the part, the mystery, that made me the most interested also frustrated me the most.

This poem is another one of my"say it aloud to see if it makes more sense when you hear it than when you say it" attempts....almost an extension to "Rooms". The sito was bouncing 'round my head so much that it was becoming a distraction, and I knew it had to be resolved, and the resolution wasn't coming from the source. Part of this was because this is probably one of the most genuine attractions I've ever had. Mind you, genuine is not a synonym for strong, because I've been more attracted to other women than I was to her....but dealing with her and seeing her ways almost made previous situations seem articifical....or small. This jawn was cute, but that was really insignificant after the first time we kicked it. To me , she truly felt like a puzzle piece to this picture I've been painting. Thus, I decided to leave it on the paper, and walk away and let the poem cry....cause I can't see em coming out my eyes...


Shit, I done said too much. I guess you get me after all.

Let me know what you think

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A ‘no’ would be so much easier to take
And honestly, I sometimes feel like that’s why I stick around- still
To be able to close the book
Not only subjectively knowing
But objectively certain as that what it all has been reduced to is an exhaustion of all possibility
Still there’s no answer, nor even a floating thought resembling ‘why’
I feel my way through the darkness, grazing my finger across it occasionally, I think
And it hurts too the touch—
Quite the opposite of you

Maybe some other time, some other place we could have shared that star crossed kind of love
The kind adolescent girls aspire to
But in the here and now, I can’t help but feel a day late
A dollar short
And sore
Because I know you’re settling for less
Not that I’m necessarily more, but damn
I hear the potential in your voice when you speak of those things that make you happiest
I see it in the smile of your eyes
And in the text messages I keep in my phone admittedly too long
Just so, at my leisure, I can remind myself that you feel something
Remind myself that you’re here for me
Your spirit precedes you wherever you go
Worthy of, deserving of, capable of having the world
Yet you have nothing

A classic dance of the foolish heart
It hurts to stay, but I can’t walk away
Too many poems have been written by others on the same matter
Which is why I feel so……. cliché
Generic and inauthentic
A destiny unfitting for an atypical, extraordinarily infinite adoration
Classically, characters of my particular fit are unwilling to sweeten upon anyone’s name
And concerning intent, my reflection is consistent with that fact
And I’ve fallen nonetheless


Piece.

1 comment:

  1. I think this poem is pretty cool, I liked Rooms better though, cuz the emotions seemed more intense...and what have you fallen for exactly? Her? Love? The idea of what could be or could have been?....

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